Rule 6 of Cosmetic Work - A Deep Dive
Don’t lie to others about any cosmetic work you’ve had done.
Please.
Please, please, please. Don’t lie to others about any cosmetic work you’ve had done.
Ideally, if you’ve had work that you’re happy with, I’d urge you to sing it from the rooftops. “LOOK AT MY FUCKING AMAZING NEW CHIN, WORLD. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Exactly the same as you would with a new lipstick. Share the wealth.
This isn’t a humblebrag, but it’s central to why I started Not Born With It, so I’ll share here. People are always surprised to hear that I’m (at time of writing) 45. They were surprised to hear that I was 40 when I was 40, and I’m pretty sure they’ll be surprised to hear that I’m 50 if and when I get there.
I always, always reply with “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of work done.”
And they’re invariably surprised:
a) Because my work looks pretty great and isn’t immediately obvious. “But, you don’t look like you’ve had anything done!” Yep. That’s exactly how this should look.
b) “You’re so brave to talk about it!” Really, is that where we’re at?
Brave is rescuing children out of burning buildings.
It shouldn’t be considered courageous that I can easily say, “I hated my nose for yeeeears, so I got it done”, but it is. And it only is because so few people talk about their cosmetic work.
Celebrities will often only discuss it after they’ve been outed, and then usually with regret and hand-wringing. “I wish I hadn’t done it” *sadface*.
Really? Because you looked pretty fucking cheerful when you were raking in untold wealth from promoting some £100 product that you swore down at the time was responsible for the entirety of your dewy gorgeousness.
Or when you were walking down the catwalk with improbably full boobs filling your frock whilst your ribs stuck out 3 inches from your body. That just makes other women feel like shit about themselves because they don’t understand how other women can possibly look so good without cosmetic work.
IT’S BECAUSE THEY ARE LYING, LADIES.
I’d really, really like that to change.
However, I also completely embrace your right to your personal privacy and you don’t owe anyone a full commentary on any aesthetic decisions you’ve made in your life.
But, please, don’t lie about it. If someone outright asks if you’ve had specific work done and you have, be honest. If you are honest and they’re enough of an asshole to judge you for having had work, they’re enough of an asshole that they’ll still be talking about their suspicions behind your back if you lie about it. So there’s no real benefit to lying.
Everyone that isn’t an asshole will either be nonplussed or curious. There’s not much to fear there.
If you had work and you regret it, tell people if asked. “Yeah, I got this done and it wasn’t the result I hoped for. I can’t say I’d recommend Dr McQuackery.”
Same as if you bought a lipstick that didn’t suit you. You’d have no qualms about telling people “Do NOT buy this lipstick, it rubbed off after 3 minutes and it smelled like bums”. Cosmetic work is no different, we’ve just unhelpfully attached a stigma to it.
If asked and you’re happy with the work, “Yeah, I did get my nose done. Thanks for noticing! Right, what’s for lunch?”
That’s all that has to happen and it’ll make a profound change in the conversation around cosmetic work. Too much work happens in subterfuge. A more open discourse ultimately enables everyone to be better informed and to make the right decisions for themselves.
I can’t pretend that everyone will have an overwhelmingly positive reaction to your aesthetic choices. But I doubt you’d give a fuck if someone disagreed vehemently with your choice of lipstick. Their negative shit is on them, not you. Get on with your day and smile at yourself warmly in the next mirror that you pass.
So, a final plea, to PLEASE not lie to others about any cosmetic work you’ve had done.
Any cosmetic work undertaken should be in accordance with the other five rules. Here they are, in case you missed them the first time…
